Today, I told my Mother that the man who I observed as the love of her life, transitioned yesterday morning. I was nervous to share this news because my Mother has been studying for her second biology test that she is ambitious about acing. I did not want to break her concentration. I also did not want to sit with the knowledge of knowing, the man I called “My Dad too” was physically no longer with us and keep such information from her. When she called me this afternoon for our beginning of the week check-in, I assessed her temperature. Clearly, she did not know because that would have been the first thing she shared. She was also in an upbeat mood. “No, not now”, I told myself.
But as our conversation continued, I could only think of him and her. I thought, “maybe she wants to be a part of something the family is planning.” And she should have the opportunity to speak for herself as well as decide for herself what she can handle. As I attempted to protect my Mom, I stood corrected, the protection she needs can only come from God. So I stepped aside so God can step in and hold her where I am unable to.
Life is precious. The actual presence of someone is remarkable when you share beautiful memories. The experience of someone slipping away physically or absent from your life can still feel warm when they have left impressionable footprints on your heart. Time is unfathomable. The day is here and then the day is gone. The night comes and then day reappears. I have had many days and nights where I have tried to squeeze every ounce of my 24 hours out into an accomplished goal. That experience came with losing much energy, feeling weak, but to some degree, accomplishment. I often reflect on how am I squeezing out every ounce of time within my relationships.
When I think about my relationships with some beautiful people, I like to hold on to our beautiful memories and believe that as long as I can still remember the moments we shared, my beautiful people will always be with me to visit as they please.
Dear Robert (My Dad too),
I trust your transition was just as you wanted it to be, home. May all who knew you remember your smile, how easy going you were, how your work ethic was unmatched and how you could build a house from top to bottom inside and out. Despite life challenges, may we all never forget your heart of gold and the love we felt in your presence. I was just seven years old when you came into my life and I was happy to see you. I look forward to our visits. Thank you for your Fatherly love and protecting me.
Love, Your Daughter too
Written by: Dr. Fuller
